The Insight:
When your heart is hurting, give yourself permission to step into the quiet and heal. It's true that meditation won't be able to repair the scars from the past, but it leads you to a path of acceptance.
The Personal Connection:
There have been nights where sleep eluded me to the point of extreme exhaustion. Obviously, this was not physically or mentally healthy for me. One night, I was so frustrated, I found myself in tears. I knew my choices were between gnawing on the same worry, or I could rise up from the bed, and sit with my thoughts in a quiet, calm space. I began to understand that lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling, wasn't helping me. And so I got up, and sat on my cushion on the floor, closing my eyes. Patiently, I listened as the loudness of my anxiety became hushed in the silence.
With this action alone, I had just released myself of a burden.
I finally realized that carrying these hardships to bed with me every evening, made me feel trapped. I was just doing what everyone else was doing at that hour, but my mind wasn't ready. Forcing myself to rest when my thoughts were in darkness, wasn't going to bring the peace I was seeking. I had to break the cycle of my mind going over every intrusive concern that would come up as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I still have sleepless nights. I wake up with bad dreams from time to time, and my worries catch up to me. But I feel a better sense of control now by choosing to slow my thoughts down before I sleep. Sometimes I get up and write. It's healing to put my problems to print & list my gratitude. I encourage every writer reading this to join the 5am writing club. In the dark quiet, is where I find my stories.
I hope you find the space in your mind where silence resides and I wish you the courage to seek it out.